Random Thoughts – Feb 2016

Every once in a while I’m going to cheat and put out a blog post of random thoughts. Mostly just little blips or questions that pop into my head as I live my writer-liscious life. This is my way of writing a blog post without actually putting in any real effort or expending unnecessary brain power. None of this stuff is worthy of a regular post, but I’m pretty convinced that someone out there in internetland will find at least one of these things interesting.

Side note… are we done trying to come up with goofy names for the internet that make us sound both witty and crotchety? Internetland, webernet, The Internets, Triple-dub, etc. It’s like we’re stubborn old men refusing to embrace a new technology while also struggling to say a name that’s actually really easy to remember. I cringe when people I respect try to pull this off. It sounds forced, and it’s NEVER funny.

Unless they’re doing it ironically, like I was. Then it’s mildly passable as a joke.

…Consider that your first (of three) Random Thought (© copyright 2016 all right reserved).

I was in Home Depot a few weeks back looking at Home Depot-ish stuff, and had to make use of the restroom facilities. As I go to wash my hands (more on this later) I notice that one of the sinks was broken. I couldn’t help but think “I’m standing in Home Depot. They sell at least a hundred different faucets here. I was JUST looking at some of them three minutes ago. Why is this one broken????” Is there any store in the world, outside of Lowe’s that has LESS of an excuse to have anything not working? Can Randy over in plumbing fixtures not grab a new faucet and swap it out real quick? Or maybe cut down some PVC and replace the pipes? Is it a plumbing thing? The other sinks worked just fine, so I’m assuming this was just a massive PR disaster for Home Depot instead. Good thing I’m the only person who knows about this.

Another ‘side note’ (©)… Randy is a quintessential Home Depot name. It’s a thing. I can totally imagine a Home Depot employee with a questionable haircut and a name tag that says Randy. Or Midge. That’s also in play. Not so much Lowe’s, though. I can’t really explain why. I think it’s the blue color scheme. But yeah, when I think Randy, I think Home Depot. Either that or Randy Meisner from the Eagles.

(RIP Glenn Frey!)

Let’s get this out of the way right up front. I have a day job. I’m not a super-world-famous author making seven figures a year from book sales. Or even six figures a year. Or even… well, we’ll get to how much I make from writing in a future post (foreshadowing!!!) but for now, the point I’m trying to make is that during typical work/business hours, I can be found at an actual place of employment in the Dallas area. I may not enjoy it as much as I do writing, but it pays the bills and keeps all the animals in my house eating food that’s probably FAR above their station in life.

I bring this up (my job, not the animals) because I need to vent about said place of employment. Vent about what, you ask? Well, let’s just say that we’re sticking with a bathroom theme today and there are certain men at my PoE (place of employment…) who DON’T WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER USING THE BATHROOM!

That’s right, you sickos. You’re disgusting, and I know who you are. Rest assured I’m giving you dirty looks and pinching my nose as I walk behind you. And I’m avoiding every doorknob you touch. And if you ever try to shake my hand when I see you out in the halls or in a meeting room, I will be declining your gesture with a firm look of repugnant horror. I might even out you to everyone in the vicinity by sniffing my nose and asking “sink broken, bro?”

How does an adult in a professional work environment not learn to wash their hands after using the restroom? What kind of societal failure leads to that simple lack of civil courtesy? Is that the TRUE sign of the apocalypse??? People just not giving a damn about personal hygiene?

Another side note… Speaking of Apocalypse, I’m not super exicted about the upcoming X-Men movie. I liked First Class, and Days of Future Past wasn’t bad. But for whatever reason, I can’t get excited for this one. And I even REALLY LIKE the new direction these movies are going, especially after X-Men: The Last Stand ruined the original franchise and made me unexplainably angry for about four months in 2006.

Man, that’s a whole other post, too…

Anyway. I like Apocalypse as a villain. I think he’s got great potential, but I’m just not feeling it this time around. There’s a ton of comic book movies I’m excited to see this year (top of the list is Civil War!!!) but Apocalypse isn’t really one of them. We’ll see. Hopefully I’m wrong, because I’ve always kinda liked the X-Men, as evidenced by the X-Men script I wrote to ‘fix’ everything that went wrong with The Last Stand (another post).

Anyway, that’s all for my first Random Thoughts post. It wasn’t quite the ‘ insane stream-of-consciousness rambling’ I thought it might be, which is good, because that’s yet another post I’m saving for the future!

(SO. MUCH. FORESHADOWING!)

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